conscious amnesia

I'm at the stage in life where kind people tell me stories about something good I did for them, and I have zero recollection of what they're talking about.  In all likelihood, this is simply amnesia, or a more pointed term for my age bracket, senility, a word that literally means "old".  I'll call it "unconscious amnesia", in which I'm forgetting some things without intending to, due to advancing years.

However, unconscious amnesia could also refer to my living unconsciously, for the moment only, a value highly advocated by our culture, which discourages us from engaging in serious reflection.  I suppose there could also be some "conscious amnesia", in which I conveniently forget what I've acted like, particularly if the picture is negative, like those who look into the Mirror of God's Word but then immediately forget what they look like (James 1:24).  Either way we can end up like those amnesiac old goats (and not "the greatest") who ask The King, " When did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison and did not help You?" (Matthew 25:44) 

So it's a good idea to practice "conscious amnesia", asking God daily to search us out to make us conscious of any sins of commission or omission (Psalm 139:23-24), which we can then acknowledge, confess, be forgiven for, and forget about.  Then we can consciously press on to now and to what lies ahead (Philippians 4:13).  

As we look into the past to ask God for wisdom to learn from it, or look to the sometimes-scary future to seek His Encouragement to prepare for it, we reflect the Image of the Eternal God who inhabits time and eternity, and receive grace to live conscious of Him in the present moment, and less conscious of ourselves.  Then we can discover that blessedly conscious amnesia which is ours in Christ, when our left hand doesn't know the good that our right hand is doing (Matthew 6:3).

Someday, however, we may be reminded by one of our fellow servants, "as you did it to one of least of these, you did it for Him."  And surely One Day, Jesus will personalize it: " You did it for Me."